I am afraid

Hold my hand and walk with me, I am afraid to take those steps. My hands and legs are trembling for I do not know what my future will hold. When you fall upon your knees, please remember me. I seem to cry everyday now, do not know why, but It will be alright I hear you say. I am not sure from day to day. I miss my family, friends and co-workers too. So when you can’t get out and go you seem to be one of those forgotten ones. I know you have a life of your own, I just pray you will never walk alone. If it wasn’t for my Lord and my sweet husband I do not know what I would do. The days get longer and time is passing by. My body is not working, my memories are failing me too, I can only pray and dream of good days to come my way and that all this pain will go away. It could be worse I know this is true. So when you read this little note hold someone that you may know that has problems bigger than yours, lift them up, give them love, give of your self when you think you can’t or just remember them in your prayers. Go with God and be blessed. Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Up against the Wall

When you are up against the wall and things seem to be closing in, Close your eyes and look toward the heavens there is a light shining brightly just for you. Have faith and reach for the light, for He will guide you and keep you from harm. I stand and praise him, I am proud to be a Christian! I am full of joy to know that my mind and heart is clear and the grace of God is with me. Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor Photo By: Brian Keith Howard

Looking Forward

It has been a long week and it is just half over. I have found myself doing a lot of thinking about my health, my family, and my Lord. I have always been a strong person and looked at my glass half full not half empty. But with my illnesses I changed, no one change me I did it all on my own. I am learning to live day to day enjoying what may come. I now look forward to seeing my grandchildren grow and become young men. I could sit here and see the darkness, but I want to see the light at the end of my tunnel. I know God is watching over me and answering prays each day. My life is beginning to go in a good direction. If you are low and yes you could get lower than you are today. Reach down deep within yourself and scream STOP it is over I will prevail. I will make a difference in my life. Stay strong and lean upon the Lord he will guide him if you let him! I pray Gods blessing on each one of you. Go with God and be blessed! Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor Photo By: Brian Keith Howard

Mommy

How far is a mothers love! You give birth to a child (boy or girl) something inside you fall in love with that bundle of joy. You look into your new baby’s eyes and can’t help but want to give your baby the best in life you can. You raise that child and hope that they will never fail or never have hurt in their lives, but then they are all grown up with lives of their own. Mothers are supposed to be there to hold their hand, dry their tears, lift them high and sometimes do without just so they have a better life than you have had. I have two beautiful sons that I gave birth to, they have been the light of my life. They have grown into such caring and wonderful men. I also have a daughter and son by marriage and I love them also as if I have given birth to them many years ago. I will go to the ends of the earth for my babies and yes I said my babies, even though they are grown I never stop being a mother. You want to do for them, you want them to have everything they need in life. You want to reach down in your pockets when they are hurting and help move the mountains in their lives. Sometimes you can and sometimes you can’t. I am writing this to praise my children for who they are and what they are becoming. But I need mountains to be removed, God knows my heart and he knows yours. I am asking you as a friend and or a sister that when you pray reach out toward the Heavens and call out our family, God knows the need and I have faith he will answer our prayers. In closing, when you have a child and they are all grown up, that does not mean you stop being a mother, that’s when you go back to being a mommy. Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor Photo By: Brian Keith Howard

This Memorial Day

This Memorial Day has been one for the books. Daddy, Todd and I got up early this morning with rakes, shoves, grass seed and a beautiful black stone. A story I must tell, lets go back to 1944 Daddy was a member of the Air Force and as a bombardier in WWII we have listen to the stories of many missions during the war, but never the bad times my daddy went through and to this day he doesn’t talk about it. When the movie pearl harbor came out he could not bring himself to watch it. Each mission he flew was always a chance he would not survive. But he did. While he was in the air my mother was doing her part singing in the USO, where her mezzo soprano voice would ring out across the airwaves and danced for our soldiers. No she didn’t fight in the air, on the water or in the ditches, but she made life a little better for all the service men as they came home. Well the war was over and everyone came home my dad flew one of the last missions in WWII. He came home to Fayette Alabama where he met a lady that was in town visiting her cousins. They knew they would be together the rest of there lives. The love lasted until death, you see momma his sweetheart past away March 20th 2012 after being married for 64 years. He misses her everyday as we all do. But for him it is a different kind of miss. He finds himself looking for her and she is gone as he reminds himself of all the good times they had. To love each other the way they did is beautiful within it’s self. Hold someone that is dear to you and remember them in all things. I stand and give Thanks to my parents for what they did to keep our America’s going. Happy Memorial Day to all who have fallin and all that are still with us. Take time to find someone that served our country and sit down and really listen to what they have been through for you and I to be safe. They really need you and I more and more. I write this to My Mother and Father Thank you for who you are, what you went through, and what you are going through. I love you so! Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Thank You

I have found myself in the most blessed life anyone could have. No I am not rich, I am not one to travel, I am not one to have lots of material things, I live from day to day. You see these things really don’t matter to me. I am rich because I have Christ in my life, along with the most wonderful family anyone could ever have. I have a roof over my head, I have food to eat, I have love in my life, I have you to comfort me in my time of need, and I have friends that pray for my life and what I am going through. Thank you Lord for loving me no matter what the circumstance may be, Thank Lord for what you have done in my life, Thank you Lord for what you are doing in my life, and thank you Lord for what you will do in my life. You are great beyond compare. You are my heavenly Father that I care for and love each day that I have left in my life. So if you feel you are alone look toward the Heavens for He will comfort you any circumstance you may be in. Love will be there just believe and you will see! Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor Photo by: Brian K Howard

Mothers Day Letter

Dearest Momma; Mothers Day is just a few days away. I miss you so, sometimes I can’t quit crying now that you are gone. The last few days of your life, you held my hand and said it would be alright. You were ready to go home. To be with your mother, sister and brother too, but to see the Lord was what you wished to do. As you laid there in pain, I watch your life slip away. I miss you so, I miss your arms that held me tight, I miss the smile when you looked at me, I miss the joy you brought into my life, you understood my fight. I miss your prayers you prayed for me. Oh Lord I miss my mother’s touch, please hold her hand tight on Mothers Day for me. Please give her white roses as I did each Mother Day. Please give a kiss on her cheek and let her know it was from me. Tell her I will see her one day this I know for sure, cause you see momma you taught me well, I am who I am, because of you. I love dear momma and miss you so much. Your loving daughter, Melanie

IT IS A GRET DAY!

It is a great morning, why you may ask? You got this morning, you have one more day to be who you are. As you get ready for work., children off to school, cleaning your house, or just picking up the computer to see who has sent you an email or posted on your wall. But my questions is before you do all that, did you stop and talk to Christ. Through Christ you will find strength and comfort in any situation. Praise him from the mountain top, praise him in your kitchen, praise him in your everyday life. He is worthy to be praised. Take today as if it was the first day of your life and start it off as a good one. Love with all your heart, be careful what you may say to others, be an example for others to see Christ in you. He will lift you up and place you on the mountain tops, there is nothing My God can’t do. Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor Photo By: Brian K Howard

Where does you heart lye!

Give thanks where thanks are do! So today and everyday there after I give Thanks to my Lord Jesus Christ. For without him I could do nothing. Where does your heart lye? Does it lye on material things that you think you can not live without. Do you put those things before Christ? Put Christ in front of everything and everyone and see what happens. He said he would never leave you. He sits at the right hand of the Father, he is waiting on us to give our life totally to Him. Believe on Him as a child believes on his Mother and Father that they will take care of them no matter what may come their way. We all have battles or valleys that we will travel through, but we will not always be there. We will climb to the mountain tops through the strength that Christ can give us. So if things look difficult now, tomorrow maybe a whole different world. So again I ask where does you heart lye! Praise him from the mountain tops, praise him when you are at you lowest, praise him because he care enough to come to this world and suffer the pain of everyday life not to mention he die so we might live! Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor Photo By: Brian K. Howard

Life is like a puzzle!

Life is like a puzzle! You never know what the picture is until you put all the pieces together. Have you every tried to put a puzzle together when you did not have the picture on the box. Well when your health is failing you are like that blank box. You just try and try again to put all the pieces together the best you know how. Everyday we look at things differently not knowing what may come or go in our lives. We do our best with what we have and try to continue on. It is not easy, but who said life was easy anyway. Look at your self in the mirror and find what you are really looking for. Talk to those that love you, hold the ones that are the closest to you. This will give you strength to go forward. If you work on it the pieces will fall into place. You just have to work on it and continue and never give up. You see I was giving up until I reached out to the ones that love me the most and they are helping me to put the puzzle together. God said we were not perfect yet, but we must have faith that we will get there. A wise man told me that if everyone only did what was best for their self there would be nothing left except you by yourself. Reach out you may be surprised at the out come! Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor Photo By: Brian K Howard

Love those!

You know the old saying what came first the egg or the chicken! Well my question is what is and what came first in your life? With me it is Christ, Family, and my Friends. When you put your trust in his words you will find grace, peace and understanding. Sometime I question understanding. My thought for the day is be thankful for what you have whether it is little or great. Love you family, enjoy life, let those you love know it. I have always said you can tell someone you love them, but if you don’t show it they really can’t believe it. So show people that is important in your life that you care and love them. You might be surprised at the results. Hold those that are dear for you close, you may not have them tomorrow. Glorify Christ in everything you do and you just might have those mircles you have been waiting for. Go with God and be blessed this day that the Lord has made! Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor Photo By: Brian Keith Howard

Where were you?

Where were you on that faithful day of April 27th 2011? Those of you that are reading this well you are still with us. So many lost their life’s. It goes to show us that we never know the day or the hour that Christ will come for us. Even though I am ill, I am blessed because the tornado that came through the Bessemer area on 26th was only a block away, while people were trapped in their homes. My family was okay. I had friends that lost everything , but they still had what was precious to them, which was their

family. I give praise and glory for all of you that were saved in this event. May God be with you this day and everyday after. Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

YOU ARE

You are my strength in time of trouble, you take my hand and lead me each step of the way, you never fail me, you look deep within me and see the good, you carry me when I am too weak to walk myself, you love me no matter what I do, you send me presents everyday, you help me see the good in others and myself, you are my Heavenly Father. I want to praise you and thank you for all these things and the things I can not see. I love you! Written By Melanie Howard Taylor Photo By: Brian Keith Howard

DO NOT GIVE UP!

Depression is something a lot of people have but some just won’t except it. Health issues, family issues, financial issues, employment issues, bulling issues and past issues that we just don’t deal with and we allow it to take us over. I am in that category, My health, brought on financial problems and I have gotten to the place that dealing with all the pressure doesn’t help me or my family. I could scream to the top of my lungs and it wouldn’t help. There are very few people that want to take the time to listen. But if you would stop and take the time to listen it would help those with depression. Sometimes people just need to release and they feel much better. Some do not. I am thankful for those that take the time to care and listen to help me through my depressed state. It is like dominos that you stand up and one is knocked over then they all begin to fall, but if you take one domino out of it’s place they stop falling. Through prayer and understanding will stop the depression and you can start picking up the pieces and start a new. Yes the problems will still be there but you have taken the first step. It is not easy to do, but for yourself it must happen. I can only do what I can, some days it is hard for me to walk across the room, some days I just can’t get out of bed because of the pain I am in. When you have worked all you adult life and can see people and talk to someone, basically have a life and it is taken away because of your health, there is very little you can do. But that’s when you have to take one step at a time as I do. I will not allow myself to lay here and die. I am a fighter and one day it will get better, because I have faith and I believe. Christ said he would not put on us anything that we can not bare. I myself must remember that promise and believe that there is a light at the end of this tunnel I am in. So if you feel you are in a depressed state of mind, talk to some one and start fresh. Do Not Give Up!!! Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor Photograph By: Brian Keith Howard

Stop and Listen

Stop and listen to the wind blow and the movement of the trees as they sway in the sunlight. Hear the birds chirping saying yes it is spring time once again. Robin eggs are opening to the new life that they bring. I hear in the distance a dog barking at someone walking down the lane, or maybe a squirrel has crossed their path. The neighbors all working in their flower beds and gardens. The wind chimes are singing their praise to the new day. I have found a new life in me. As I sit here listening to all around me I want to understand why it is I can’t enjoy the beauty around me. I can’t walk down the street, I can’t dance with my grandson as I did with my oldest grandson, I can’t go places I once could go. I ask my self why many times. I try to push myself everyday, but it just makes me weaker. If I had one wish for you, I would tell you to put your life in your hands and do the things that make you happy, don’t take your life for granted it can change in a moment. What I want most of all is to be near my family and feel the love they can only give. I want to laugh again. I want to have something to smile about, I want the pain to go away and stay away. I want to be myself again. When you pray please pray for me. Pray that my illnesses will help someone to see deep within their selves and compassion for others. I am not writing this to just one person, but to all. Lets make our world a better place for you and I. Hug someone tell them you love them, bring happiness to those that may have less than you, don’t email how you feel put it into a letter and mail it or just pick up the phone and call them. You will make some ones day with just the kindness of your heart! Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor Photo By: Brian Keith Howard

Excited!!!!

Do you ever feel the anticipation of seeing family, having a cook out, sitting around and just have lots of laughter, fun and enjoyment. Well I feel that way today. It is the best medicine I could ever have. With my illnesses just knowing that someone cares enough to take time out of the day and spend it with me makes me excited. I do not drive much at all. I cry most days, the pain sometimes is unbearable, sometimes Todd can just reach over and touch my shoulder, my arm or my legs and I hold my breath with the pain that runs through me. I use a walker now, nit all the time but when my legs just don’t seem to work. Even though I go through this everyday I will stand tall and thank God I have such a beautiful life and family. Without knowing this I would have given up along time ago. So if you are in pain, don’t give up on yourself, just take it one day at a time and live life to it’s fullest. Thank you Lord for loving me! Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Do You Hear It?

Do you hear it? Listen very close. In the back of your mind you will hear the word spoken so softly, say come and hear. God has a mission for each one of us, it is how and when we choose to listen. I do not know why I have the illnesses that I do. I cry most days now, my burden heavy, my mind is not clear, but even though I am ill I still look toward my Father in Heaven, see he is the answer you just have to listen. I have thought so many times that maybe my illnesses will help someone else, or that I can help someone that is like me. I always said you can not know me unless you walk in my shoes. Well if someone is walking there too, I could understand and be a shoulder to lean on. Everyone needs someone that can truly understand. I can tell you until I am blue in the face what it is like to go through my pain, but until you are there you will never understand. So my wish to you “Is if you are ill and can seem to go much further then lean on your family, but most of all lean on Jesus, He has been there and he knows our heart and needs. So do you hear it now? Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Remember

I can choose to sit here day after day, but I do not. If there is anyway in my power I will do something daily. As I sit today I remember what I have in my life. My husband, my children, my grandsons, my friends. Don’t give up I tell myself, push forward for someday there will be a better place and a better time in my life. Even though the pain maybe hard to bare, even though there are many sleepless nights, even though I can’t always remember times of yesterday, I still remember my Lord and he still is there with me every step of the way. So when you are down look toward the heavens you will see him there. Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Needed

I could begin this writing with an inspirational view, but I am not feeling very inspirational today. This weekend has been very hard on me, my pain is at the point of unbearable. Sleep is not in my history. The only thing I could share with you, is that my husband Todd has been there for me every step of the way. You may not understand, you may question me, but until you are walking my steps you can understand or question me. My faith, my husband and my family is what keeps me going day after day. You prayers are needed, your friendship is needed, your love is always needed, and laughter is a plus. Go with God and be blessed! Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Look deep within yourself

Look deep within your heart and soul. You will find it there. No matter what you do or where you go, life will continue there. Sometimes it may get lonely, sometimes it may be hard, but look beyond yourself and you may see the stars. Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Go and be Blessed

Time has away of healing old wounds. Live one day at a time we never know what tomorrow will hold. Take one step at a time, be sure to go in the right direction. Find time for the ones you love even if it is just for a moment. You will never regret it. Hold some one that is dear to your heart their strength will help you through the tuff times in life. Find a place that you can go to in your soul and mind that will give you peace. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Never hate someone it will bring you down. Love them in spite of what they maybe putting you through. You will be the better person for it. Look up and let Christ guide you through life’s journey. It is never to late to find grace in His presence. Go with God and be blessed. Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor Photo By: Brian Keith Howard

The Son has Risen!

The sun has risen this morning has it did so many years ago. The Son of God has risen and he is still alive in my heart and soul as many others. Easter has become a holiday for bunnies, colored eggs and children at play, but the real reason for this holiday begin years ago. My Savior died on a cross and in three day was risen so I and you may have salvation. I am proud to be called a Christian I am proud to be a person who has Christ in her soul, I am proud to be a servant of Christ, I am proud of all of you. It is not hard to be a child of God, read your bible it outlines our mission in life, daily prayer, remembering what Jesus went through just for you and for me. So this bright and sunny morning I will praise his holy name the name of Jesus I shall proclaim! Thank you for you grace, your unedifying love, your mercies that has been sent for above. I will walk the extra mile for you and be a light that will shine in the darkness so others may see Christ in me. Forgive for my thoughts that are not pure as snow, forgive for all the things I do not understand, for give Father for I need you to take my hand, guide me through this life here on earth help me stand. I will praise you until the end. Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Learning

I would like to begin this morning by wishing each one a very happy Easter. As you go through you Easter weekend, take a moment and reflect upon you life and those around you. My Father in Heaven died for me and you and rose from the grave to make a huge statement. Nothing is to great or too small for his love. I hope and pray that my life will reflect that love. Read the book you may find the cover isn’t what you thought it was. I don’t someone to misunderstand my life, so I will try to look beyond the cover of someone else. I will not judge them! I can’t say I have walked in their shoes and they have not walked in mine. I have lived a tuff life. It has been hard to raise two sons. As a mother I wanted to give them the world and their hearts desire, but it was not possible, but I believe they are the better for it. They held me up for years. Now I am married and my husband stands behind me so I will not fall. Some of you know me, some do not. I am very ill and it seems to worsen each day. My fear is to miss out on watching my grandchildren grow and new grandchild added to our beautiful family. If I could give any advice to anyone it would be “look deep within yourselves and if you are happy with how you do things and how you live your life, then you are on the right track, but if you are not happy find what makes you happy, change your life until you do you can’t help someone else change theirs” I wish you the best that life can give. I thank Jesus for what he went through on that fateful day, cause he did it for me and for you, have faith and stand tall, no matter what comes you will have the strength to over come. Go with God and be blessed! Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Don’t pity me try to understand me!

I am tired of being ill. I don’t allow too many people to see my pain. I try to do things around the house and pay for it later. You may come to see me but never realize the pain I am in. My clothes hurt me some days. I sleep very little even though I take medication to help me sleep. I wake in the night with my legs, neck, arms in so much pain I sit on the coach and cry. Todd doesn’t see those times either. I have been told I have a high tolerance for pain, but I just hide it well. My knees are going quickly it is beginning to be hard to walk from one room to the next. I write because I want to remember. I can go back and remember things that once was. You see part of my illness is my memories. I can’t remember them as good as I once did. You have to write it down or email it to me to remember what I needed to know. I cry most days now I am so sick of being sick. No one comes to see me, I am alone most of the time. I thought I had friends, but when you get down like I am you don’t hear from them so often. I miss my family, I miss my mother who has gone to be with our Lord. I miss so much. I miss work. But no one would hire me now. I could work but maybe an hour a day. I don’t drive too much. I know that my doctor will probably take my licenses away this time. Too many seizers. Many days I just want to go home, but it is not my time yet. I’ll go when the Lord calls me home. So I guess I will just make the best of it. Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

The Birds are Singing!

I have woke to a most beautiful day the birds are singing, my roses are blooming, We had an angel give us a hot tub for my illnesses and last night was the first of many nights to come that I will be able to rest my legs and back. We never know what is around the corner. The people that gave us the hot tub we had never met them, but through the grace of God we were put together, come to find out the wife has the same problems I have, but has been there a bit longer than me she is in a wheel walker now and can not get in the hot tub any longer. There are many angels around us and our Heavenly Father knows our needs. We never ask him for the little things in our life’s’ only the needs that is beyond our means and control. Prayer has a way of opening doors that were closed. I have faith that my Lord will help us in our time of need. Please continue to pray for our family.
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

MY PRECIOUS ONES

My roses are blooming in the garden now. Their fragrance is over whelming. I can not sleep my pain is unbearable at times. I am scared of what is to come in my life. I pick up my grandchildren and I am afraid I will drop them. I want to go onto a mountain top and scream as loud as I can WHY! It has been 2 weeks since my momma has gone to be with our Lord. I miss her everyday. I miss waking up and calling her just to say I love you and see if she and daddy are okay. I want to go and sit in her room and feel her presence there, but I have not been able to. I starting cutting a rose from my garden and keeping it by my chair just to remember that she is still there. I miss you momma, I miss coming and laying my head in your lap while you brush my hair with you fingers and tell me it will be alright. I feel alone sometimes that no one can really understand the pain I feel. My illness is getting worse, I smile and try to push myself forward. There are times that just the feel of my close hurt me. The touch of the man I love so dearly hurts. I find myself listing to other people that have now gotten to the point they can hardly walk or do much at all. I am a fighter, I have a walker but refuse to use it. I don’t want to get that bad. I don’t talk about it to no one much. Because you see if you look at me I look the same, the pain is under my skin I just want to talk to momma she always made me feel as if it will be better some how. Just smile through the pain she says. Please read about Fibromyalgia, OA, Epilepsy, Scoliosis of the spine, Lupus and maybe you will understand what I am going through. I ask you this for only one reason, I don’t want pitty, I just what people to understand me. I need closeness and feel love and that I am not going through this alone. God said He would never leave me and I know he is still holding me up. Please love me for who I am not because what I am going through. I miss you, I miss holding your hand, I miss hugs and kisses, Just that I love you more than that! All my love my precious ones.
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Good Morning World!

Good morning world, God is so great! Prayers are being answered. I know we are to wait upon the Lord. Troubles come and troubles go, but it is how you make it your own. I could stop and give up on my life, my family and my health, but I will not do that. I love my life, I love my family, My health is in God’s hands and my doctors. Our house is in need of much repair, but it doesn’t stop us from living, Mom has gone to a better place with no pain or suffering and it is hard to let her go. But I have my daddy still. The daily visits have been up lifting as we talk about memories and plans for the future. My wonderful husband has stepped in as he always does and picks up the slack in my life. My children have held my hand and holds my heart close to them and I too are holding theirs. The smiles on my grandson’s faces reminds me there is more memories to be made. Friends words have been uplifting with words of joy and kindness. All I can do now is put my heart, my soul and my life in my Lord's hands and ask him to mold me in his likeness. I wanted to end my making this statement. Sometime we hear what we want to hear, we read what we want to read, but look between the lines and have faith into what our hearts tell us. I love you still!
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Where is my love?

Some people grieve in their own way. It has been one week today that my mother was buried. I miss her more and more each day. The morning phones calls, The smiles through her pain. I wish I had the courage that she had to go through the many miles she traveled with the Lord. I see her in many places she has touch so many life’s. I have been blessed to have her. Daddy is well, he marches on where the strength comes from I will never know. I am blessed to have so many people in my life that have loved me and watched me from afar. I know my parents loved me, I know my brother has loved me, My husband loves me each day he shows it in so many ways, my sons are never far away I call and they will be there when I need them, My grandsons makes me smile with that cute way that they can only give just say I love you GeGe! I have three additions in my life that is my beautiful daughter in law that never fails to tell me she loves me, Then God blessed me with my step daughter that will text me I love you. My stepson Wesley will see me in pain and crying and he puts his arms around me and tells it will be okay. Yes I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful family that loves me no matter the mistakes I make. I just would like to say out loud I love you too!
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Yellow Roses

Yellow roses were my momma’s favorite flower. I have three roses that set by my chair and I look at them often. But I have looked several times but never realized the importance of the flower. At the beginning they were vibrant even though I changed the water daily they have begin to wilt. But deep within the flower is the nectar. As within our selves the outside maybe beautiful, but deep within ourselves is the nectar that our heart, our love, our compassion comes from. The petals may wilt and fall away but the nectar still remains. It is pure and plenty. I want my life to be that way. My body may wilt but my soul will be pure with love and compassion for others. As my illness worsens and my pain begins to grow daily my heart will remain the same. Look upon others as you would have them look at you, treat others as you would want to be treated. The nectar of your life is there look deep beyond the petals and you will find it there. Go with God and be blessed.
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

As I sit on my porch and looking beyond the screen walls I see a beautiful day the Lord has made. Sometimes when I am very sick I must push myself to and try to step out into the sunshine and feel the warmth on my face. It has been rare that I have the strength to do that anymore, but something deep inside of me pushes me on. God said he would never leave me he would never forsake me. I believe in His words. There are some that don’t, I am sorry for them. People see me and don’t understand why I am sick and there seems to be no healing for me. I have always trusted God he knows what he is doing if my life, if I can touch just one person I would do it all over again. There is beauty all around us we choose not to see it. So my pray and wish for you is to stand back and let God help you see. I have very little monetary value, and I have a home that is in need of much repair, but I am rich beyond mine and your dreams with Christ as my Savior. So look beyond what is in front of you and let Christ fill your life with the joys that He only can give. Glory to His name the name of JESUS!

HERE WE GO AGAIN!

Yes here we go again. Disability has denied my application for disability. If you are ill you also have been where we are. I have been told it is a long process. It will we okay. There is always a reason behind each delay, not knowing what may come. But through the strength of my family and my Lord it will happen. If you know me I mean really know me you know that the days are very painful and very hard. My mom told me years ago to smile through the pain I have done so. I met a lady this past weekend that has the same disabilities that I have but she has had them longer, her pain is unbearable, she has to use a walker now, someday I feel that way, when my knees don’t won’t to work. The more stress I am under the harder it is to function. My request is for prayer for my attorneys to make the right discussions and my husband works so hard then call ball games after working a long day just so we can keep our heads above water. It has been hard on him but he never complains. His words “it is what it is and he will do what it takes”. I love him so,. I know God put us together. Please call our names out each day that God will help us in our time of need. Thank you for each prayer, each call, each visit. I do not drive much unless I have to. So if I don’t come and see you doesn’t mean I don’t care. Love you all, Go with God and be blessed! SMILE THROUGH THE PAIN IT WILL BE OKAY!
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Thank you!

I have a very special thank you to some very special people that have taken care of momma in her last days and hours. Their kindness not only to momma but to the family also was beyond the call of duty. We feel blessed to have met these beautiful people and have them in our lives. Thank you, LaTesia Rancher, CNA; Kertea Henderson, CNA; Fannie Boswell, RN; Daneisha Lewis, RN; Ernie Willis, Chaplain; Rachel Graffeo, Social Worker. So if you find yourself in this situation Hospice of Alabama you could not go wrong. You have held me up through my pain and only had words of kindness. It takes special people to do what you do. God bless you and keep you through all of your lives.

Momma

To my Momma!
So many times we look at death as a sad event, but I feel a comfort knowing that my mother knew her Savior. I have no doubt where her soul is now. We placed her body in the ground with tears but it was only her body for one day we will see her again. Things will be different I can’t lay my head in her lap when there are problems, but I can talk her and feel her closeness. My daddy is doing as well as anyone that has lost their partner of 64 years. He walks through the house seeing her imprint on everything. I still call him each morning but instead of asking how is mom today I ask how are you holding up. He replies I am just trying to clean the house and put everything in order. Time has past for Mom, but Daddy it has only began. I remember the times we have spent together, with laughter and great joy. The times she has read the bible when there was a trouble in my life, she always knew just where to find the right scripture to comfort me. Mom was on of the sweetest and caring woman I have ever known. It was nothing for her as sick as she was to give of herself to others. Daddy is the same. I will miss her I will miss her hands holding mine, I miss her love, I will miss her face looking at mine. I will miss the gentle touch she could give. I will miss the stern advice she give because she loved me and wanted the best for me. But just to know she is not in pain, no suffering now, only laughter and praise for her long live as a child of the King. I love you momma and will miss you terribly. I will see you one day. I feel you in my heart and you memories will never fade. All my love my little angel girl. Kisses to you!
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

I Love You Always!

We taken each day as it comes. One step at one time. Each one has their own steps they must take to insure a loving and wonderful life. Lift up your voice tells those around you how much you love and appericate them, cause you see they maybe gone tomorrow. Don't expect them to be here when you want them to be...
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Still Waters Run Deep

Still waters run deep! As you look across the water and it seems as smooth as glass, not a ripple, not any disturbance. But what lies beneath? Look at someone close to you. You may see them to be quite comfortable in their lives. But look closer, everyone is not perfect, there are under tows in all our lives. Just look beyond that because you are not perfect either. Judge not less you be judged. Speak only of the good in someone, not the wrong that you see. What you may see could be in your own life. Unless you walk in some else’s shoes you have no right to judge. God is our judge and our comforter in times of trouble and needs. Still waters do run deep is each of our lives. We may never know what is beneath their skin, but as the old saying goes don’t judge a book by it’s cover, you may be surprised what you read. Love them for who they are, lift them up , there may come a time in our own lives that we need them.
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Looking out my window

As I look out my window and see such a beautiful day, the sun is shinning brightly, the wind is blowing through the willow. I know it is hard to imagine how it feels not to be able to go outside and feel the sun rays on your face to feel the cool breeze on the back of your neck. But when you are ill and can’t enjoy those things you look out your window and wish you were well again. But you see I have a gift that you may not have. I have a warmth within my soul and know that it will be alright once again. I don’t go out much anymore, but one day I will walk and bask in the warmth of the sun, and sit under the willow tree. It will be alright once again.
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Faith is a Wonderful Thing!

Do you see the wind blowing outside. No but I can see the evidence of it. Do you hear the heart that is beating inside? No but I can place my hand there and feel it. Do you see the grass growing in the morning light? No but I can wait and see the changes. Faith is like that. We may not see it, but if we use our senses we will know it. Faith is a strange and wonderful thing. We must keep the faith I hear you say, but sometimes it is harder to do than to say. One day becomes two and two becomes weeks, then months and our faith will seem to fade. But if we remember one rule, faith is easy, as is the warmth of the sun that shines on our face, faith is like a child that knows it’s parents will protect them, faith is like a puppy that knows you will not abuse them, faith is knowing that he will never leave you. He is Jesus and he will carry you when you can’t walk. He will love you when you think you are alone. He will listen when no one else can understand. So what would you do? I will reach for him for he will never leave me. Faith is a wonderful thing!
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Rain Drops

As I sit in our family room listening as the rain drops hit the window outside I think about how the rain from Heaven as it showers down inside. It is there to clean the particles in the air that we breathe and to nourish the flowers and the trees. The showers from Jesus are pouring on you and me to clean the imperfections and to feed the soul indeed. It is our choice to stand out in the rain to allow the Lord to clean and feed our lives we lead. Take by hand and walk with me to feel joy of His rain once again.
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

A Visit

I had a visit today. As I sat and talked about my life as it is now and remember my life as it was. A small hand slipped into mine. My thoughts went back to yesteryears when my sons were very small. They place their hands into mine and I guided them through their youth. My sons are grown now with lives of their own with task similar to mine. But as I looked upon this tiny hand I felt life so tender and true. The joy of knowing that this hand I held has brighten up my day and gave me hope that it’s going to be okay. We dream that somehow our lives will go own after we are gone. I do not have to dream any longer cause you see my life will continue through this tiny hand that I hold. Thank you for the love that I feel each and everyday, that love and compassion you give keeps me strong and knowing that it will be better one day.
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

I am Weary

Dear Lord walk with me today, I can not walk on my own. Help me through this valley I am in and bring me to the mountains once again. I cry most days now, I need your love and light to show me the way. I live from day to day never knowing what is coming my way. Let me wake with a morning light with no pain or sickness in sight. I am weary and someday I just want to come home. But I know you are not finished with me just yet, Lord hear my humble prayer wrap your healing arms around me with gentle care.
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

The Son is Shining!

Sometimes we look at life as if a cloud is walking over us. But I am here to tell you the Son is shining. As I go day to day I could look at life with hurt and disappointment, but I choose to look at what will be. I know the Son will shine on me. Glory to his name the name of Jesus.
Written by: Melanie H Taylor

Give me a minute and let me catch my breath.

You never know what each day holds when you are ill. Yesterday was a most remarkable day, but this morning not as well. I have been told to not hide my illness. I have for so long tried to smile and say I am fine, but it has not been so. This morning I woke think that this day would be as good as yesterday, but not so much. With my migraine, joint pains and more aches & pains you can not imagine what my life is really like. I can only live day to day. I trust in God and walk in his precious light, praying that one day this will be over. So when I say give me a minute and let me catch my breath, I mean let me find away to make it through this day. Don’t assume that a person without a smile is a person without happiness, they maybe like me. I am very happy, my husband and family loves me very much and tries to do what they can. But right now give me a minute and let me catch my breath.
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

How do you fix what is broken?

How do you fix what is broken? You could use super glue, but sometimes that does not mend the broken person. Through prayer and Love there is nothing that God can’t fix. To have faith as a mustard seed seem so easy, but can be very hard. When I child jumps into a loving parents arms that child has faith that they will not fall. We must have that kind of faith. Each day we wake to a brand new day. Not knowing what will come our way. Love those around you, speak softly, words can be forgiven but it is so hard to forget. When we speak ill of someone, it reflects on others. Sometimes we just have to bite our toughs and have faith and understanding that things will work out. So how do you fix a person that is broken, through the love of God and faith. All things are possible, just believe on him and walk slowly.
Written by: Melanie Howard Taylor

Step Out

Step out into the new world, yes I said the NEW WORLD! Each day is a new day a new world, not knowing what is to come you can be negative or take a positive look on life. If you know me you ask how are you doing I will say one day at a time, this is true. Walk one day at a time and lean upon the Lord. I could say my glass is half empty, but I choose to say it is half full. Some days are better than others, but I know that one day is will get better, you see Jesus promised me. So I live for my Lord, my Family and my friends. But I also live for me. Take along look at yourselves and live day to day. He will be with you, just lean on him.
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

It will be better one day!

If you have problems and you just can’t understand that question is in your head “why me”. Sometimes I wonder where I would be if God had not chosen me. I go through life one day at a time. I feel pain but I can truly say It will be better one day. I laid in bed and slept for over a day and angels appeared with their beauty of light that danced above my bed. What could this have meant I didn’t quite understand, but I realized that God sent them to just hold my hand. When things get hard and you feel you are alone remember his words “I AM WITH YOU”. I could give up and just lay here and die, but what I would miss is the laughter in your smiles. God blessed me with a family that loves me so dear . He’s never too far that he doesn’t hear. All I do is call upon His name and he is there. So as I leave you today I leave telling you It will be better one day.
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

As I Walk

Hold my hand as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil. You are with me. Even though my hands make ache, my back and legs will hurt. I will walk with you. I can not do the things I once could do, but as long as I have you I can do anything. It maybe only in my heart and in my mind.
I sat in the brightness of the day looked toward the clouds and prayed. Lord I love you this I am sure. I do not know why the pain is so intense, but if I can help just one soul, I would do it all over again. To my surprise the clouds begin to move, the sight was beautiful a heart had formed within the clouds and the sunshine was pouring through. I Thanked Him for the Heart as tears begin to fall, So when you think it is hard just look up and remember Him.

Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

You May Never Know

You may never know what your love means to me. You may never see my heart when it bleeds. You are special that is for sure. God reached down along time ago and said I was meant for you. People said it is an impossibility, but it happened the it was suppose to be. Times were hard this I understand, but God said here take my hand. We walk for a while I knelt at his side now go he said to me it is time for you to see. He knew in advance the future what it is to hold, He holds my hand each step of the way, He gave me one more day. So as I have told this story of mine. Remember we are not promised that extra day. He knows each hair numbered and what is deep inside, so remember to hold this thought back in your mind. God so love the world, that he gave his only begotten son! So love the ones around you and remember their heart and their pain, because you see you could be here instead of me.
Written by: Melanie Howard Taylor

Remember Me.

Remember me, I was standing there. Remember me while you were sitting in the chair. Remember me when the tears begin to fall and you didn’t know what to do at all. You called my name, I tired to let you know which way that you should go. But through the tears and through the pain you could not hear me when I called your name. Remember me I was standing by you side when you lost that special someone that hurt you deep inside, Remember me when you felt you could not go any further, but somehow you made it through. Remember me I was caring you. Remember I am always by your side. You think it is hard to take that step to move on, but it could have been harder than you will ever know. Just remember His love is strong. Remember Him each moment of the day, cause he is the one that gets us through our day.

Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

It is Raining today.

It is Raining Today.
It is raining today. The sky will be cloudy all day. When it rains the tears start to fall, but God will dry them all. Look toward the light in darkness I must say, because my Lord Jesus will always show the way. If you can’t seem to see what I can see and troubles are over clouding you, fall on your knees and pray. Sometimes when the house is quite and I can call upon his name and he will be there sometimes in the smallest of way. I have illnesses I can understand but the Lord still holds my hand. No matter how dark it seem to be I know he is here for me. Don’t despair look for him and you will find him there.
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

Hide and Seek

Where are you? I have looked as I did years ago. Should I close my eyes and count to 100 and then can I find you there. Where are you? Are you in the closet, maybe under my bed, or could you be behind the door. Where are you? I have looked up and down the house and the yard. But wait I know where you are. I look in the mirror and there you are, you are inside my soul and in my heart. You are carrying me I see now, cause without you I can not even walk until you hold my hand. Thank Lord for all you do. You have blessed through and through.
Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor

It's a wonderful life

I am proud to let you know I have the most wonderful man in my life in Todd Taylor. We have a new life ahead of us. We were married March 22 2010 and I would like to share some pics. enjoy!