Don’t pity me try to understand me!

I am tired of being ill. I don’t allow too many people to see my pain. I try to do things around the house and pay for it later. You may come to see me but never realize the pain I am in. My clothes hurt me some days. I sleep very little even though I take medication to help me sleep. I wake in the night with my legs, neck, arms in so much pain I sit on the coach and cry. Todd doesn’t see those times either. I have been told I have a high tolerance for pain, but I just hide it well. My knees are going quickly it is beginning to be hard to walk from one room to the next. I write because I want to remember. I can go back and remember things that once was. You see part of my illness is my memories. I can’t remember them as good as I once did. You have to write it down or email it to me to remember what I needed to know. I cry most days now I am so sick of being sick. No one comes to see me, I am alone most of the time. I thought I had friends, but when you get down like I am you don’t hear from them so often. I miss my family, I miss my mother who has gone to be with our Lord. I miss so much. I miss work. But no one would hire me now. I could work but maybe an hour a day. I don’t drive too much. I know that my doctor will probably take my licenses away this time. Too many seizers. Many days I just want to go home, but it is not my time yet. I’ll go when the Lord calls me home. So I guess I will just make the best of it. Written By: Melanie Howard Taylor